“Adultery is a brainless act and self-destructive … and a reputation ruined for good.” Proverbs 6:32 (Message)
For some time now, there has been a new online service promoting, “Life is Short, Have an Affair.” It REALLY burns me that they make it sound like an affair is the thing to do and nobody ever gets hurt. Sadly, too many people buy into their message hook-line-and-sinker.
My friends Duane & Kristina have a great little blog called “Our Marriage Restored.” The thing I love about Duane & Kristina, is after an affair threatened to tear their marriage apart, they chose instead to make it work. Their blog takes you through their amazing journey to restoring their marriage. Today, when so many people are giving up on marriage, they chose to work through their problems, and they share their story on their blog.
Here’s one of Kristina’s posts from a few weeks back that was excellent….
Let me tell you from personal experience …. There are NO GOOD REASONS to have an affair! Here are 10 Reasons NOT to have an affair.
1. It’s wrong! (I’m pretty sure you know that already….) It does not matter where you are from or what your “religion” is, most people and modern societies agree: INFIDELITY IS WRONG! Remember those vows… You will be breaking them! It’s also a sin against God and you really DON’T WANT TO GO THERE!
2. Your spouse doesn’t deserve it! You married him/ her because you loved them. Just because you might not “feel” close to them, does not mean you can have an affair! If you have marriage problems, an affair DOES NOT HELP PROBLEMS GO AWAY! Instead, you’re just adding more junk into an already struggling relationship. If you feel like your marriage is falling apart, seek out a well-respected Christian counselor.
3. The excitement you might initially feel will end! After the excitement fades, you become exhausted trying to juggle two different lives and hiding secrets.
4. You will lose the respect of your friends, family and co-workers! It will take a LONG time to rebuild trust & respect.
5. It will hurt your children! Make no mistake about it, they WILL be deeply affected by your selfishness.
6. It will cost you more money that you would ever be willing to spend! It all adds up fast! You spend money trying to “hide” your affair. Besides you buy new clothes, nights-out where you would not typically go, money spent to “show the world” everything is “okay”. Then to add up the counseling fees, lawyer fees, time lost at work, etc. My affair cost us thousands of dollars. We are still recouping from it! Let me tell you… it is hard!
7. It destroys your happiness! You might hear in your head if you have an affair you will be happy. Don’t listen, it’s a LIE! Really it makes you miserable….. Secrets, lies, etc. Losing your family, losing respect… need I go on?
Read the rest of this post (8 – 10) here.
Our marriage was restored by the grace & mercy of God. It was NOT EASY. It required more work than I ever thought I could ever imagine. We had to BOTH choose to make it work! It took loads of forgiveness from Duane.. and MILLIONS of tears from both of us! We still cry about it & although I know I have been forgiven… I will never forget what troubles my selfishness caused for our family & marriage!
- Can you think of any other reasons NOT to have an affair?
- How have you seen affairs effect people?