Making Your Marriage More Important Than Your Kids

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When it comes to marriage, Lea and I struggle with the same things you struggle with. We often find ourselves taking one another for granted for the sake of less important things. Things like busyness, ministries, work and hobbies will always crowd a marriage for time, but I think the biggest challenge for any marriage, including ours, is balancing marriage and raising children. This is especially a struggle when you have young children.

I firmly believe that the ONLY thing that should be more important than your marriage is your relationship with God. Raising your children should be of the utmost importance, but not to the degree that you put your relationship with your husband/wife on the back burner. One couple recently said this about their marriage, “We don’t have a marriage. We have a business. We make money, pay bills and raise kids, period.” How sad!

I’m amazed at how many people justify putting their marriages on the back burner for their children’s sake. If you invest all your energies into your children and none into your marriage, your marriage will struggle to survive when the kids are grown. What happens is, once the kids are grown, you’ll look across the table at your marriage partner and realize you really don’t have anything in common anymore.

So to keep your marriage happy and healthy, you’re going to have to be willing to invest time in it. Finding time to reconnect in your marriage is healthy. Lea and I strongly feel that raising our boys takes lots of time and energy, but not to the point that we lose the healthiness of our marriage. We personally feel that we must reconnect regularly for our marriage to remain healthy. Sometimes we reconnect in our marriage by simply …

  • Making time a couple of times a week to go for a 30 minute walk together.
  • Going on a date once a week and trying to talk about things other than just the kids.
  • Calling home from work just to say “hello.”
  • Spending twenty minutes at a Sonic drive-up just to talk.
  • Having lunch together.
  • Going grocery shopping together.
  • And it’s very healthy when we can occasionally spend a night away somewhere or have a whole weekend away.

Our children are SO important in our lives, and we should be investing a ton of time into the ministry of parenthood. But our children also need to see their parents display a healthy marriage, and for that to happen it takes investing time. That’s why finding ways to reconnect is so important.

10 Things You Can Do TODAY to Improve Your Marriage

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  1. SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER. Make a commitment to spend more time together and make a weekly date night with your spouse a priority. This may take you sitting down together with your spouse and planning out your schedule.
  2. BRAG ON YOUR SPOUSE DAILY. Any old lame critic can pick out someone’s faults; instead focus on pointing out your spouse’s strengths.
  3. BE MORE SEXUAL. Touch, flirt, hug and have sex together. Make your marriage sizzle, and as one author put it, “A married couple’s sex-life is a great measuring stick of how their relationship is doing.”
  4. PRAY TOGETHER. Men, this is where you MUST step up and be a man. Take the lead on this and do it. Your wife will love you for it.
  5. DON’T GET HISTORICAL. Fight fair. Don’t bring up past hurts and things you’ve already forgiven your spouse of.
  6. DO REGULAR CHECK INS: It’s respectful to check with your spouse and let them know where you are, what you are doing and when you might be home.
  7. HAVE ONE MEAL A DAY TOGETHER. Turn off the electronics and just visit with your spouse and your children.
  8. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRY WITH ONE ANOTHER. Simple enough.
  9. FORGIVE. The key to being successful in real estate is location, location, location. The key to being successful in marriage is forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness. Marriage is made up of two imperfect faulty people. We make mistakes … so learn to forgive.
  10. DO REGULAR CHECK UPS. As your spouse occasionally, “How are you/we doing?,” or “Is there anything you need from me that I’m missing?” Or, “How can I better meet your needs?” I promise this will go a long way in helping improved your marriage.

Find more of our marriage material at StrongerMarriageWorkshops.com

SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE BY TRYING THIS…

We love the Samsung commercial where the wife shares a video with her husband and says, “I also have a video for you, but you probably shouldn’t watch it on the plane.” ;) 99.9% of the men in this world that have seen that commercial sat there thinking, “Hey, I’m going to buy one of those phones, because I want a video from my wife that I can’t watch on a plane!”

In all seriousness, you should be using your phone to romance one another in your marriage. Whether it’s pictures, texts or a video clips, you are missing out if you’re not using your phone to romance/flirt with your spouse. For example, one man shared with us that his wife occasionally lays some lingerie out on the bed, takes a picture of it and sends it to him at work with the message, “This is what I’m planning on wearing later tonight.” He remarked, “When I get a message like that from her, I cannot WAIT to get home from the office and have yet to EVER be late.” J Personally, I know Lea has learned the art of this and when she sends me messages it leaves me thinking, “I’m the luckiest man in the entire world to be married her.”

So why don’t you try romancing your spouse today with a romantic/spicy text message? Here are a few ideas. Try one!

  • Please let me know what I did to deserve you…I want to make sure I keep on doing it.
  • I love you so much. No matter where our lives take us, I will always be by your side. XOXO
  • Thanks for having lunch with me today … You can have me for dessert later.
  • I love you in the morning, in the middle of the day, in the hours we are together, and the hours we are apart. xoxo
  • Good morning beautiful/handsome. Have an amazing day.
  • I’m so lucky to have you. :) You and me tonight.
  • You looked AMAZING today … you made it hard to go to work.
  • I’m having one of those days that make me realize how lost I’d be without you…
  • Hey handsome, I hope you are having a great day at work. Can’t wait to set my eyes on you again tonight.
  • I love it when you wear ____________________ … it totally turns me on!
  • I don’t say it often enough, but I want you to know that I love you.
  • Hey hottie, got plans tonight?
  • How about a date tonight? I’ll line out the sitter.
  • You are AMAZING. Just thought you should know.
  • I could really use one of your kisses right now.

 Don’t miss out on romancing your spouse through with your phone.

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College Students: How To Stay A Christian During College

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College should be one of the best times in your life because you are out on your own and making your own choices. BUT college should NEVER be the time you ditch God and your faith in order to experience the world. I read recently where 70% of college students quit Christianity during college … despite growing up in Christian homes. Ugh!  Don’t buy into the lie that Satan feeds you, “This is the time you should be experiencing the world, drinking, partying!”  Instead live for God … even when no one is watching.

They say every college kid struggles with the freshman 15 (15 lbs of weight gain the first year of college) … so let me give you 15 ways to keep from bailing on your faith during college…

  1. Keep your relationship with God your #1 priority … not school, not work, not the opposite sex or anything else.
  2. Read your bible everyday.
  3. Make it a priority to find a church to attend … and then get your rear-end out of bed and go.
  4. Hang with the right crowd. Run with the wrong crowd, in the wrong places … and you’ll do the wrong things.
  5. Get involved with other college students that have the same spiritual goals.
  6. Don’t believe the lie that “everyone is doing it….” whatever someone tells you “it” is.
  7. Pray every day for strength.
  8. Remember daily how good God has been to you. Why would you want to turn your back on that?
  9. Find an accountability partner who will help keep you spiritually accountable.
  10. Don’t hang out in the wrong places… places where you’ll be tempted.
  11. Serve others. Look for a place to volunteer.
  12. Find a campus ministry, college ministry or bible chair to get involved with.
  13. Communicate and give regular updates to your parents, youth minister or mentor on how you are doing spiritually.
  14. Find a weekly bible study to get involved in or host one in your home.
  15. Remember that Satan is going to do everything he can to get you. He’ll use people, places and things to tempt you … keep an eye out for his schemes.

College kids … stay strong in your faith!

10 Early Warning Signs You’re Headed For An Affair

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We don’t believe anyone ever goes looking to have an affair. Instead, affairs happen over time when we let our guard down and quit focusing on our marriages. One of the best things you can do to keep your marriage strong is to pay attention to the signs that your relationship is headed in the wrong direction. So here are ten early warning signs someone may be headed for an affair…

  1. If you have an “It’ll never happen to us” attitude. Don’t EVER let your guard down.
  2. If you confide in someone of the opposite sex about your marriage problems.
  3. If you neglect your marriage and no longer try to meet your spouse’s needs.
  4. If you are not doing regular check-ups with your spouse asking, “How are we doing?”
  5. If you are not being proactive in the growth of your marriage.
  6. If you focus all your energy and attention on your children and not your marriage.
  7. If you are locking your phone from your spouse, or deleting texts or Facebook messages so your spouse won’t see them.
  8. If you find yourself dressing up and paying more attention to your appearance in hopes that “they” will notice you.
  9. If you are keeping secrets or hiding things from your spouse about a friendship you have with someone of the opposite sex.
  10. If there has been a huge drop off in intimacy or none at all.
Follow us on our Marriage Page at StrongerMarriageWorkshops.com

10 Things You Should Be Praying For Your Marriage

Thank God for your spouse and marriage. Ask God to bless your spouse. Ask God to give you and your spouse wisdom. Ask God to bless your spouse to be a good parent. Pray for your future together. Pray that you will keep your priorities straight. Pray that you and your spouse will guard your […]

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Husbands, Improve Your Marriage by Learning To Speak The Language of Romance

Husbands, when you think of the word ‘romance’ you often think of sex, but for a woman romance means something totally different. Romance to a woman are the little things you do like bringing her flowers, surprising her with a dinner out, small talk, a night without distractions, help with the kids and dishes, etc. […]

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Join Us For A Stronger Marriage Workshop

Here’s what one of our seminars looks like …  ]

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Never Stop Dating In Marriage

We believe that no couple should ever stop dating. Getting a babysitter and going out for a romantic dinner, a movie, a play, a concert or even playing golf together keeps a couple emotionally connected. Ask each other out on dates, plan them, and enjoy each other as you did when you were younger, single […]

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8 Things We’ve Done Right In Our Marriage

A marriage is made up of two imperfect people, so that means there is no such thing as a perfect marriage … nor will there ever be. Lea and I have made our share of mistakes. In fact, many of the things we share with you on this page are the very things we’ve learned […]

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UPCOMING Stronger Marriage Workshop Events

The following is a link where you can find our upcoming Stronger Marriage Workshop events… https://www.facebook.com/StrongerMarriageWorkshops/events    

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10 Traits of a Heathy Family

Spoke in Red River, New Mexico this morning and had several ask about note. Here they are …   10 TRAITS OF A HEALTHY FAMILY… 1. Displays an irrational love. 2. Have healthy communication. 3. Have no favorites or black sheep. 4. Don’t abuse or shame. 5. Place a priority on God. 6. Teach service […]

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DUMP DAY 2014

WELCOME TO DUMP DAY 2014 … This is a day that we stop to consider how blessed we are materially and share with those who are not. Hungry people need fed for another year. There are children at Buen Samaritano who get one meal a day, 5 days a week. For many of those kids, […]

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7 DAY BETTER SPOUSE CHALLENGE

Welcome to the “7 Day Spouse Challenge” that we introduced today on our Facebook marriage page.  This challenge is for couples who would like to grow in their marriage and make HUGE positive changes in just 7 days. We honestly feel like if BOTH spouses are willing to participate completely for the next 7 days, […]

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Never Stop Pursuing Your Spouse

Remember all those things you did before you we’re married to win your spouse? Like…. * Calling just to say “hello” * Buying them little surprises * Dating * Talking for hours * Holding hands * Praising one another * Wanting to spent time together * Flirting * Trying hard to look nice for him/her […]

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Old Dogs Can Learn New Tricks In Marriage …

A few years ago when Lea and I celebrated our 20th anniversary, I decided that I needed to do something new to show her how much I still loved her. Not anything drastic, but just something new after 20 years to say, “You still rock my world.” So I decided on our 20th that it […]

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10 MARRIAGE KILLERS

Sometimes it’s the subtle and sneaky things that creep into our marriages that destroy the relationship. Little things so gradual that we don’t really notice them before they’ve become HUGE problems. Be on guard of subtle things like these… 1. LIFE STARTS TAKING PRIORITY OVER YOUR MARRIAGE. Things like paying bills, work, children all start […]

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4 ROMANCE TIPS FOR HUSBANDS …

1. THE UNEXPECTED SURPRISES. Women love unexpected surprises you give them. An occasional unexpected small gift, come home from work early for some quality time or surprise her with a romantic night out. Consider some weekend morning greeting her with breakfast in bed when she wakes up or fix her favorite meal and clean up […]

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10 Way To Divorce Proof Your Marriage

1. Make God a priority in your relationship. 2. Make the relationship a priority. 3. Compliment instead of criticize. 4. Be affectionate with your words and actions. 5. Keep the spark in your sex life. 6. Communicate. 7. Never keep secrets from your spouse. 8. Date. 9. Never stop pursuing your spouse. 10. Don’t stop […]

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Life and Death … It’s the Circle of Life

The circle of life is pretty amazing when you think about it. In the same hospital … just a short distance apart, I saw life and death this week. I stood yesterday in a room with a proud new mom and dad as they welcomed their new baby boy into this world.  This young family […]

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Recharging Your Marriage Battery

Lea and I have 3 cordless phones in our house. We’ve learned that if you leave any of them off the charger for more than a day, the battery dies. Nothing is more frustrating than trying to answer a ringing phone that has a dying or dead battery. Everyday we have to make sure that […]

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10 Things I Love To Hear My Children Say …

About 5 miles west of Childress is a prison that houses 1200 men.  National statistics say, “85% of those sitting in prison today grew up in a fatherless home,” that just goes to show you the powerful roll fathers play in the lives of their children. God has blessed me with four incredible boys. As […]

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The Worst Sermon I Ever Preached

I still remember my first real sermon. It was on a Sunday night in a small country church. They’d asked me to fill in that night while their preacher was gone and this teenager was really nervous about it. I’d done a couple of short Wednesday night devotionals, but NEVER a real Sunday sermon. I […]

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Change and The Church (Things That Worked) – Part 2

This is a follow up post to the last blog I wrote about making how churches and change. I wrote about how churches need to be constantly looking for areas to grow and sometimes it requires stoping things you’ve been doing for years, and trying new things. You can find that post here … “The […]

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“FREEDOM” – Sermon Link

    This is my buddy Seth. He helped me illustrate my lesson last Sunday morning as we talked about how people carry around unnecessary baggage in their lives. At the end of the 25 minute sermon, I finally let him put all the heavy bags down and his response was perfect. As he dropped […]

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The 8 Last Words of a Dying Church

I visited with a couple the other day that was absolutely scared to death of anything changing in their church. They knew their church was declining, drying up and dying, but they wanted nothing to do with trying anything new and expected everything to be left exactly the same as it always had been the […]

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The Spiritual Life of Johnnie Lott – Sermon

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This is a sermon I preached last Sunday after the passing of one of our leaders, Johnnie Lott.  Johnnie was a great husband, father, brother, and for 32 years he served as an elder in the church where I preach in Childress. His children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren are a testament to the God-fearing, loving and […]

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4 NEGATIVE EMOTIONS THAT WILL KILL YOUR MARRIAGE…

ANGER – Uncontrolled anger, intimidation and bullying have NO place in marriage. Watch your tone. Anger does NO good, only harm. Remove it. CRITICISM – Listen to me, treat your spouse with kindness and respect. Your job is to build them up, NOT to tear them down. NO ONE wants to live with a critic. […]

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Sermon – 3 Ingredients to a Healthy Marriage

    Sermon Series on Marriage (1 of 3)

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NEW MARRIAGE PAGE

Our marriage material hasn’t disappeared … it’s moved   If you follow our blog for MARRIAGE posts and updates, we’re doing most of those now on Facebook that you can find by clicking here… http://www.facebook.com/StrongerMarriageWorkshops Stop by and hit the “like” button.

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“Sorry You Don’t Get A House Now.”

My heart is broken … yesterday was a bad day for the poor in Honduras. My friend Marc Tindall, our missionary from Honduras that coordinates all our work there, called yesterday to say he’d been robbed right after leaving the bank. Two men on motorcycles grabbed Marc’s backpack that he’d just filled with money to […]

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DUMP DAY 2013

WELCOME TO DUMP DAY 2013 … This is a day that we stop to consider how blessed we are materially. A day we stop to be the “Good Samaritan” in the story Jesus told, choosing NOT to pass by on the other side of the road. We choose to help today. We choose to make […]

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HOW TO GIVE ON DUMP DAY, MAY 8th.

Our 5th annual Dump Dayand 30-Hour-Fast is next Wednesday the 8th.  Many have started giving early, and that is totally okay. If you do give early, please make sure you stop back by this blog next Wednesday and let us know what you gave so we can kind of keep a running total. We’re hoping […]

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Dump Day 2013 and the 30 Hour Fast

Dump Day and the 30 Hour Fast for 2013 is right around the corner (May 8th). For the past 4 years we’ve helped raised money for the ministry that takes place at the dump in Tegucigalpa, Honduras. Dump Day 2013 is necessary to replenish the dump fund because the dump fund provides… Weekly feedings (a […]

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Pepperdine Lectureship 2013

I am thrilled about making my first trip to the Pepperdine Lectureship this year. I will get to present two lessons on “Marriage and Family” while I’m there. Lea and I are excited about making some classes and seeing beautiful Southern California. If you’re going you might want to check out the follow information and apps […]

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About Me

Trey Morgan Here are my thoughts about marriage, family, raising children, humor, faith and the life God intended for us all. I am a Christian husband and father, who moonlights as the minister for the church of Christ in Childress, Texas. My wife Lea and I have been married for 25 years. We are doing our best to raise our 4 boys, who are all growing up way too fast.

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Trey Morgan
@TreyMorgan
Husband, father and cancer survivor ... who moonlights as the senior minister for the Childress Church of Christ. Tweets about life, marriage & randomness.
  • The problem with people who always complain about things is ... when they have a legitimate complaint, no one really takes them seriously.
  • LOL I thought about that too. Rangers haven't even won a series in MONTHS and they sweep the Braves. Go figure. :)
  • A divorce lawyer is way more expensive than a babysitter ... make date night a priority. Invest in your marriage.
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